On Again.

So, its been awhile. I've had some major changes happen in my life and I just couldn't find the time to write about it. Mostly though, I was just too scared by all of it to be able to write. Long story short, I quit my job, which I loved at one point, because I couldn't handle one of my co workers. She was drunk at work all the time and berated other employees and was just all around terrible. Rather than being fired, they sent her to mandatory rehab, and she essentially got away with being a terrible person and employee. I just couldn't deal with it anymore, so I found a new job. I am heartbroken about leaving the old job, but I feel like I am making the perfect decision. I started my new job last week. The hours are much better (steady and not so sporadic), the pay is better, and the bosses seem so much more real and honest. I am hoping that this will help reduce my stress levels, because as of today, M and I are officially starting to try to get pregnant. I took my last pill over a week ago and we are both on the same page now. Funny enough, I am totally excited this time rather than scared out of my mind. I know that the timing is right and I know that with my new job and the better hours, the ability for me to be able to manage a baby has exponentially increased. I just feel giddy, to be quite honest. I am so happy that the time has finally come and it's right and I am really ready. I am terrified it will take a long time to get pregnant, especially with the amount of time I have been on the pill. Its so nice to finally feel confident about something because the last two months have been filled with uncertainty and fear. I feel calm and just so right about everything. Its been so long since I've been able to say that and I never want to go back to the way it was. I'm not scared of being a mom and losing my freedom anymore and even though I still question my reasoning (I guess I'm not completely comfortable with the decision to get pregnant because I'm not sure I have the ability to be a good parent) I can't wait for it to happen. Ahhhh. That's finally my sigh of relief. :)