And it Begins

On Monday night, I took my last birth control pill. On Tuesday I had a mental breakdown and spent a lot of the day crying and feeling anxious. I'm beyond excited about trying to get pregnant, but at the same time it is completely overwhelming and downright terrifying. I hadn't really spoken with M about this because I didn't want to freak him out or convince him that we weren't ready. The thing is, I know we are ready, but even knowing this doesn't stop the fact that starting a family is literally the biggest decision we will ever make together. On the other hand, I am feeling so much excitement and anticipation that makes me smile throughout the day. The part that caught me off guard is that we have been talking about this moment for months, but it was always a "when it gets here.." talk. Now it is actually here and it is scary! I met with my OBGYN on Tuesday morning, and although it wasn't very in depth, she made me feel better about the decisions we are making. I've felt a little weird lately about how much preparation we (more so me than M)are doing, but I am a person who feels better when I know a lot about what I'm doing. I would never tell people around me how much I am reading and researching getting pregnant and being pregnant because I feel a little embarrassed about wanting to know all this stuff even though we aren't even trying yet or pregnant yet. There are so many variables and unknowns, but I feel more confident if I al least KNOW about these things. Anyway, long story short, I am so happy and excited and I can't wait to see how my body reacts to no more hormones. It is the beginning of our journey and the road ahead seems long, but hopeful and happy too.